This year, I resolved to be more selfish. 

I know that sounds terrible, but really it is not. Last year was a real year of giving for me. I worked hard for my clients. I was supportive to my husband and friends. I volunteered. I protested, wrote letters, and performed all grades of civic duty. I loved my family. I encouraged my friends. By the end of the year, I was exhausted. I was a crying, shaking husk of myself.

I needed to tap out.

I needed to nap out.

I have never craved solitude and quiet like this before, but I still wasn’t to a point that I could let go.

I wasn’t happy, healthy, or carefree. I was coming apart at the seems. I was so far gone, that the idea of getting ahead, or even catching up would spiral me into a full body panic attack. 

I went to Seattle for the holidays to relax, with my laptop on hand encase I had some work I could sneak in, and workaholics feel me. However, once I was there, I didn’t have time, or the accommodations weren’t conducive to work. 

Almost no one called or texted. I was disconnected. I was in the moment. I was so in the moment that I forgot to take pictures. I forgot about Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, and it was pretty glorious. My mind was quiet, and my husband said he witnessed me relax completely a few times. 

I realized that I needed this to be my best. I needed to be selfish, and to be up front about it. I still plan on doing all the things I love, but I am going to reserve some gusto for me.

I am resolving to be selfish, and I think everyone will be glad.